As a young girl, I was in awe of the beauty of the dance world. There was something alluring about the appearance of a ballet dancer, a certain pristine elegance– an aesthetic I so desperately wanted to manifest for myself.
When I started taking dance lessons at 5 years old, I quickly began my journey navigating life through the lens of an artist.
This meant countless classes,, auditions, rehearsals and recitals.
Throughout my over 10 years in the industry, I have been no stranger to seeing others getting chosen for a piece over me, blank audition call back results, plenty of rejection letters, & days filled with creative block dictating the productivity of project aspirations.
All this to say : rejection is something that artists see way too much of and left unnurtured can turn into an ugly spiral of clinging to failure and regrets..
Instead we can flip the script to use them as lessons to grow our creative careers with these top 3 steps inspired by the world’s most influential speakers- Jay Shetty, and Alex Banayan.
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mistakes as enemies vs a friend
“ Your fears don’t disappear but you become so intimate with them that they no longer have a hold on you”.
Alex Banayan
When we equate our failures to feelings of inadequacy within ourselves it makes space for our fears to stick out their ugly heads and stop us from doing the things we really want to.
First, let’s get the notion of “ conquering” your fears out of your head.
So, what can we do instead? Well, how about take them on a date? Yes, you heard that right… take your fears on a nice thought out romantic date!
This genius idea was coined by Alex Banayan, AKA the youngest best selling business author of The Third Door ( FORBES #1 CAREER BOOK TO READ IN 2018)
WHAT IS IT?
- Carve out a couple hours a week to have a “ self care” dinner with self & your fears (make your favorite dinner, get out the candles / lights, etc. whatever you need)
- Ask your fears questions & reflect on the possible answers you come up with ( example : where do the come from, how have they grown throughout your life, etc
- Continue to go on these dates & each time dive into more meaningful questions & see where the answers lead you into learning more about your fears
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?
- as the “dating process” unravels through are more causes than you thought
- more intimate with your fears vs scared / pushing them away
- Increased compassion & patience for yourself which will gift you an f opportunity to actually appreciate your fears
Failure has feedback
Remember that failure is an event, not a person.
Zig Ziglar
Often at auditions, I wouldn’t perform at 100%. My true creative self would disappear and anxiety would take the front seat. Yes, physically I was doing the movements or speaking the monologue but mentally, my thoughts were a whirlwind of panic:
- What were people thinking of me?
- Was my outfit okay?
- What if I mess up?
- How does my voice sound?
You get the jist…
I intercepted this simply not being good enough, but it is so much more than that. In fact, my fears were so desperately trying to get me to listen .
The truth was I was that I good enough but I needed to accept that I needed to improve on creative confidence to actually see the results I wanted.
What are your failures telling you what you need to improve on to see the results you want?
Failure lure’s success
When we experience a series of failures, it can be easy to write it off as not meant to be, or we simply weren’t “good enough.”
The point being : after awhile it can be tempting to give up. Before you’re ready to throw in the rag, it’s important to know that failure has the ability to lure success.
Jay Shetty calls these failures doorkeepers to success. And every time you walk through the gate will get bigger and the lock will become tighter.
Meaning:it gets harder because we are actually being tested for our drive to stand for the principle and self development required to reach the level of success we desire.
Until next time,