Growing up in a Catholic school, the birds & bees conversation was quickly reduced to a short paragraph on abstinence …
In fact, I really didn’t know what any of that was until I was 13 and a classmate told me!
You can imagine the shock…
But even if your experience isn’t as drastic as that, you might have memories of that embarrassing convo with a parent, that outdated video in health class, or like me, it was skipped all together.
It makes sense as parents, we tend to shy away from these topics because
- It’s awkward
- We feel like their too young / not ready
- We want to protect their “innocence” for as long as possible
But what if we looked at this with a more holistic approach?
As parents, we have the power to build a positive foundation to our little’s one’s perception to these topics.
A foundation that is rooted in knowledge, respect and body autonomy.
Step by step, question by question, we cultivate a safe space of ongoing conversations, so that our little ones feel secure coming to us in any situation.
By taking control of these topics, we foster a conscious and authentic connection with our children.
And what’s more powerful than that?
The Power of the First Impression
I love how the Birds & Bees Podcast, breaks it down like this : don’t mistake ignorance for innocence.
In fact, having an ongoing (age appropriate) conversation around sex and our bodies, actually protects their innocence.
How?
Because knowledge is power and if they view us as the experts around this subject, they won’t seek their wisdom elsewhere ( like peers or online.)
Versus when we keep the conversation quiet, or make up stories about the “stork that delivers babies”, etc.
It sends an underlying message those not only are these things aren’t only shameful, but allows society to be their first lessons…
Resources
Southern belles, Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michaelson share a wealth of information for parents when it comes to actually how to tackle tough conversations with our kids.
Their Birds & Bees online course is targeted for ages 1-10 to start to build that honest and safe communication with our families.
They also have an amazing Podcast & Instagram filled with free resources & advice.
Studies show these alarming conclusions :
- The average age to view porn for the first time is 12
- The largest group of porn consumers is ages 12-17
- Many children are likely to see it by accident as they are to actively searching
- 52% reported seeing violent pornography
With digital access becoming inevitable, I believe this is one of most important conversations to have with young children.
Again and again, research reveals the damaging effects it can have on children.
Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect
A great book to introduce respect for the people around them, and themselves. It helps to crush the “people pleaser” many of us struggle with today, by teaching our little ones about the importance of having ( and respecting) boundaries.
What Makes a Baby
“Silverberg’s quest to exclude no one means he omits much in the book – including any mention of sex. The point, he says, is to get children asking questions but letting parents answer them with however much detail they see fit.”
The Globe and Mail
Geared towards the ages of 4-7, this book is perfect to answering the dreaded “Where do babies come from?” question with easy to digest biological explanations, not once mentioning “the act.” making it inclusive to all families.