Being a mom in your 20s ( 23), it was no secret life would look drastically different.
And up until then, my life was very much focused on me– my dreams, my wants, my night outs, my relationship, my time…
Who would I become once there was a tiny human added to the mix?
Little did I know that the transition into motherhood would be ( and still is) one of the most profound mental & physical identity transformations I had ever gone through.
Here are the 3 truths on what no one tells you about being a mom in your 20s.
1. You feel like a preteen all over again
Giving birth to a new identity can be as demanding as giving birth to a baby’
Dr Alexandra Sacks
I couldn’t shake this feeling after birth that I didn’t feel like myself. Sound familiar? Luckily, there’s a word for this:
Matrescence– our brains go through massive brain development & maturation similar to the rapid brain growth seen during puberty. That’s why moms can feel out of the lope as they take the time to adjust to this new role
And as you ride out the awkward phase of matrescene, below are a some self reflections that can be helpful in discovering your rite of passage as a new parent:
- Who am I, really ?
- How have my priorities changed now I have a baby?
- How can I balance my career ambitions and strong desire to be near baby 24/7?
- How am I delegating my time?
- Am I taking care of myself physically?
- Make a list of 20 things that make you happy
- If my body could talk, it would say . . .
- What makes you feel the most energy?
- What would you like to do more / less of?
2. It’s okay to grieve
I struggled to let go of the woman I was before pregnancy. But the truth was : she didn’t exist anymore. I didn’t realize then that even though the process of change can feel scary, who we become on the other side doesn’t have to be.
And even though motherhood is a magical experience (one where we are so blessed to be able to care for another soul in this world) like any other big transition it be be challenging, overwhelming, intense, humbling and everything else in between.
And with all the ups and downs ,it’s okay to grieve your old life!
If you don’t then how can you truly move on and embrace the next adventure ahead?
3. Motherhood looks like many things
That while I’m a mother, I’m also a human, That while I’m grown, I’m also learning. That while I’m trying my best, I’ll still fall short often.
Sarah Wild Mothering
Being a mom in my 20’s I often hear the same thing : ” you don’t look like a mom!” While these comments may mean well, it makes me wonder : well, what exactly is a mom supposed to look like?!
These phrases accentuate the limiting stereotypes of what motherhood has to look like.
When parents are free to express themselves without these judgements, it pushes society to celebrate the diversity of everything parenthood entails.
Because the truth is :
We are artists, travelers, writers, dancers, musicians, doctors lawyers, and so much more. We are outgoing, introverted, tired, energetic, daring, vigilant, and so much more.
We are young, old, tall, short, piercings, tattoos, alternative, preppy, chic, and so much more.
We are mothers.